Battling with Fertility Threats

Haven't posted for quiet some time...

I've been to my OB the other day (day 4 of my cycle)... for my fertility work-ups again. I told my doctor regarding the pain i had been experiencing for the previous months during my menstrual cycle. She told me it might be symptoms of endometriosis. She had me checked... transvaginal ultrasound and IE. Endometriosis is starting... Oh my! Another fertility threat! Para akong pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa... parang guguho ang mundo ko. Hindi na nga yata matatapos ang pakikipaglaban ko sa infertility issues. Just few days ago i heard one of my friends is on her way to motherhood. Alam ko masama ang mainggit, but i couldn't resist. Can't help but wish that sooner i'll be on my way to motherhood.

My doctor told me that i need to have Luprolex shots for 3 months (every 4 weeks). I was surprised that this injection was so expensive. It costs P5,000 per shot. Parang gusto kong mahulog sa kinauupuan ko upon hearing it. Hubby told me that money does not matter here, what's important is my health and for the sake of having a baby. I can't help but cry... i felt so devastated. I just closed my eyes and prayed... "Lord, we cannot afford such expensive treatments and the like for having a baby. We lift everything to You... and it is only You who can help us with this battle. Make my doctor Your instrument in fulfilling our greatest dream. May Your will be done."

I had my first shot of Luprolex last November 3. I waited for the medicine for almost 6 hours, naubusan ang aking doctor ng stock because just in the morning one of her patients took 2 shots to be brought in Australia. She called one of the MedReps for another delivery. It's not available on pharmacies since its quite expensive and cannot be stocked and cannot be disposed easily. I have to finish 3 shots, my second shot will be on December 1, and last shot will be on December 29. I will be seeing my Doctor after i finished my Luprolex shots and have my menstrual period on day 2 or 3.

I'm keeping my faith high... and patiently waiting. For now, i wanted to forget what i am going through. I lift everything to the Lord. I want to live my life to the fullest... make the best in everything I do. I want to close my ears with criticisms of other people treating me as an incomplete/abnormal married woman. I know they will never understand what I am going through because they have never been there. Hubby just told me last night, "heart, don't cry and don't be sad, malalagpasan natin ito". Thank you Lord for giving me such a wonderful husband... for giving me my source of strength. Sorry if sometimes my eyes can't see how blessed i am.